HOW TO BENEFIT FROM THE FAILURE FEELINGS
Failure feelings often follows having made a mistake or not having accomplished a goal. It is not a signal to quit or give up, although this is a common misconception about this emotion. Rather, it’s a signal that you need to do things differently in future. As an entrepreneur, and contentiously battled with failure feeling for a very long time and I came to realize that I can amazingly befit from them.
The failure feelings are actually one of the most basic of human survival tools. Without them, we could not master anything. No one ever learns to do something perfectly on the first try. As Robert Kiyosaki observed “In school we learn that mistakes are bad, and we are punished for making them. Yet, if you look at the way humans are designed to learn, we learn by making mistakes. We learn to walk by falling down. If we never fell down, we would never walk.”
Does the baby who falls give up trying to walk? Does the child who fails to tie his shoe give up forever on tying shoes? No. In fact, think of how quickly and eagerly the young child pushes you aside to try again.
On their own, the failure feelings tend to flow naturally into wanting to try again. The desire outcome fuels this drive to do it until you succeed. The brain is busily calibrating, assimilating and making thousands of necessary adjustments so you can do it better the next time. So what happens as we grow up? Somehow the natural urge to go forward towards completion that comes from the failure feelings get side tracked.
Therefore, building a history of success for yourself is very helpful for being able to remain resilient in the face of failure. The parent who takes a child to the pool, for example, and throws that child in the water before teaching him or her to swim is creating a dramatic and memorable failure for the child ,even if he or she makes it to the side without drowning. But don’t we do that to ourselves sometimes? Don’t we throw ourselves into situations without the experience or preparation we need to assure our success? We can create ample opportunities for success by making sure we are prepared and by agreeing to do things we know we can accomplish. Then, occasional failures are just a misstep from which we can quickly recover and carry on.
One of the benefits of being self employed that I have learned is that, failing never needs to lead to being reassigned or fired. As the boss, you can always allow yourself chance to learn from trying again.So whenever you feel like a failure, what you want to do is recapture the natural feeling of forward movements that failure can bring with it instead of spiraling downward into defeat and despair.
To this end, I suggest taking the following steps when face the failure feelings.
Feel pleased with Yourself
Always give yourself a credit for having had the courage, fortitude, and confidence to have taken action in the first place. People who wait until they’re perfect before they act wait forever. Only those who try will ever succeed
Whenever you make a mistake, quickly forgive yourself for having caused any negative consequences from your mistake to yourself or others. Correct any problems or damages as the best you can
Focus on the Lessons not the mistakes.
Reassure yourself that mistakes and failures are a learning opportunity and take pride in learning from your experience. Identify what did and didn’t work and what you will do differently. Sometimes you may know precisely what went wrong; in which case, resolve to try as best you can.
Be Proud of Yourself.
Feel the satisfaction of having acquired new insights and abilities from your experience, and feel reassured that with this learning experience under your belt you will perform better in the future. Imagine yourself doing so, and instill in yourself a feeling of success.